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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690994">Bram gets the emails back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendra189/pseuds/kendra189'>kendra189</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love, Simon - Simon's Bravery Series [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:14:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendra189/pseuds/kendra189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two weeks after the Ferris Wheel, Bram and Simon are hanging out with Nora in the kitchen. Bram asks Simon if he can forward all their emails to himself since he lost them after deleting his account. When in Simon's inbox, he sees that last email Simon tried to send and is overcome with shame at having left Simon alone in his hour of need. </p><p>Short little fluffy one-shot! </p><p>Movie-Canon</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bram Greenfeld &amp; Simon Spier, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Nora Spier &amp; Simon Spier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love, Simon - Simon's Bravery Series [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bram gets the emails back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was writing a second chapter to another one of my stories when this one took root and wouldn't let go. </p><p>So now here it is. And that second chapter I'm working on was fully abandoned (for now).</p><p>This is pure fluff. Because that's how I roll sometimes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What time is your family coming home again?” I ask Simon, in between his kisses. We’re lying side by side in his bed, having long abandoned our homework.</p><p>“Any minute now, so stop getting distracted.” He chides, jokingly and immediately kisses me again.</p><p>He moves his lips down to my neck, and I get that familiar feeling I’ve been getting a lot the last two weeks since we made things official at the carnival.</p><p>The feeling of heat, and a slow fire burning in me that’s just aching to get out. I know what it is and I know Simon feels it too.</p><p>Simon has decided to increase the intensity of this by running his hand down my back and then back up underneath my shirt on my bare skin. It makes me want to lose my shirt to give him better access. It makes me want to take his shirt off too.</p><p>And just as that fire was starting to build real power, we both hear a car come into the driveway. The benefit of Simon having a front facing room, I suppose.</p><p>We stop kissing, and quickly grab textbooks and notebooks so we can be safely found downstairs.</p><p>Simon and I haven’t talked about it yet, but I know we’re both trying to avoid being found alone in each other’s bedrooms by our parents when they arrive home, not just for the mortification and inevitable talk we’ll get but I also think we’re not quite ready to have that talk with each other yet either. That’s okay. I know we’ll talk soon and I am a hundred percent sure that we’ll be good at communicating about everything when the time comes. And I have five months of emails to support this theory. </p><p>Actually, I don't have the emails anymore. And as we’re walking out of the room and I see Simon quickly grab his laptop, I’m reminded of the thing that I wanted to talk to him about.</p><p>Unfortunately, we’re not quite fast enough to the safety of the living room as the front door opens just as we’re coming down the stairs. But thankfully only Nora walks in alone, carrying a few groceries.</p><p>“What? I thought mom and dad were with you?..” Simon says.</p><p>Nora just shrugs. “They’re just running an errand at the mall first and then they’re coming back. They just dropped me off so I could get a start on dinner prep. ”</p><p>“Do you want help with any of the food prep, Nora?” I ask. Simon just scoffs at me. He’s told me before she won’t accept help. But I’ll be damned if I’m not a good guest. My mother was not strict about a lot of things, but etiquette has always been pretty damn important to her.</p><p>“From you? Maybe. From Simon? No. He’s <em>hopeless</em>.” Nora teases.</p><p>“Hey! I can chop things! I’m a great sous-chef! Besides, Bram, you’re a guest, I’m not letting you help.”</p><p>I scoff at Simon, and then turn back to Nora “Well I’m happy to help … <em>if you want</em>.” I say, making sure she knows my offer is genuine. And standing.</p><p>Simon chimes back in and offers, “How about we both come and keep you company, and you can bark orders at me.”</p><p>Nora just smiles gleefully and confirms, “Sounds great! But give me a bit, we can start in a few minutes.”</p><p>Simon looks genuinely surprised that she agreed to let him help her but he doesn’t say anything and instead just leads me into their living room. When Simon’s laptop under his arm catches my eye again, I make sure not to forget what I wanted to ask him ...</p><p>“Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you…” I start, as we move to sit down on the couch.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> “I set up a new email account. Just for me be able to store our old emails.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? That’s great. So you really couldn’t re-activate your old account? That really sucks.”</p><p>“Yeah, I couldn’t get ‘blugreen118’ back. That’s gone forever, apparently.” I say with a scowl, I’m still bitter at my own idiocy but at least I’m trying to fix that now.</p><p>“But, good news is I was able to get ‘bluegreen118’ with an ‘e’ in blue. So, I wanted to ask you a favour...”</p><p>Simon turns to face me, giving me his full attention.</p><p>“I was hoping you’d let me into your <em>Jacques</em> gmail account so I can forward all our emails to myself?”</p><p>“Oh!... Yeah, absolutely! How about we do it right now when I’m helping Nora? We can’t really both help her at the same time and it’ll take you a good minute to forward all the emails anyhow so it’ll make me feel less guilty that I’m not keeping you company while I’m chopping.”</p><p>“Haha, I would have been perfectly happy to sit there with you two while you worked! But yeah, sure – that plan works.”</p><p>Once we’re in the kitchen, Nora immediately puts Simon to work with a cutting board and a bunch of carrots for peeling and dicing.</p><p>I take a seat at one of the bar stools and Simon casually places his laptop down in front of me. He doesn’t bother opening it because he knows I know his password already from the times we’ve watched movies in his room.</p><p>For a moment, I’m briefly struck by the pride that he trusts me with his computer since this is usually such a private place for kids our age. For anyone, really. Access to a person’s computer or phone these days is like a <em>huge </em>window into their life. I’m honored. I also know he knows that I’m not going to root around. I’m going to go straight to gmail and do my task and then hand the computer back.</p><p>True to my word, I open up Google chrome and see that Simon’s bookmarked Gmail. I open the page and can pick between simonirvinspier@gmail.com and frommywindow1@gmail.com. I click Jacques’ account and the password is already saved.</p><p>Once the inbox opens, my eye is almost immediately drawn to the email at the top from MAILOR DAEMON with the subject “Delivery to the recipient blugreen118@gmail.com failed permanently.” The sinking feeling of what that means hits me like a freight train.</p><p>He tried to email me.</p><p>After I deleted my account, he tried to email me. He sent an email. And it didn’t go through.</p><p>I don’t know why I’m surprised. He knew I had deleted my account, and that night at the Ferris Wheel, he said he thought I had blocked him. I knew that meant he had tried to email me, but I guess I didn't let myself think about that. That he had tried to email me one last time and it didn't get to me.</p><p>I really want to click on the email and see what he tried to send me. I want to know what he wrote. I know I shouldn’t, every fiber of my being is telling me not to do that. But is it really a violation of privacy? He tried to send it to <em>me</em>, he intended me to read whatever this is. </p><p>But before I know it, and against my better judgement, I’ve clicked the email open.</p><p>
  <em>Please Blue, You can’t leave me alone. Everything’s falling apart.</em>
</p><p>It instantly devastates me. My body feels completely flooded with renewed guilt about my cutting him off and I feel so ashamed. I put my own fear ahead of Simon, who needed me and I’ve never hated myself more.</p><p>God, I feel like someone just kicked all the air out of my lungs.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Simon asks. I look up and he’s stopped peeling carrots and is looking at me with concern.</p><p>I look up at him and am flooded by so many thoughts and feelings. That email was from almost three weeks ago and so much has changed since then. He and I are <em>more</em> than good and we’ve already talked about my closing down my email and my guilt about it. He insisted there was nothing to forgive but said he forgives me anyway just to make me feel better.</p><p>I should just say I’m good and get back to forwarding our emails to myself. I know that would be the easy thing to do here.</p><p>But I can’t. I owe him more than that. And It’s not just that I owe him more, I want to do more. I want to do better. I want him to trust me completely. I think he does already, but I know I can make sure of it.</p><p>Besides, I don’t feel right about not saying anything here. I want to apologize again. I know it’s a bit selfish but I really want him to know how sorry I am.</p><p>He’s waiting for me to respond to him, so instead I just get up, walk around the kitchen island and firmly tug on his hand, pull him into my arms and hug him as tightly as I can.</p><p>Simon doesn’t say anything but he wraps his arms around me too and hugs me back just as tight.</p><p>When Simon dips his face into my neck and I feel his lips lightly graze my skin in what can only be described as the softest kiss ever, I really think I might lose it.</p><p>I mirror his actions and bury my own face in his neck for a second before I tilt my head back up, pull out of the hug just enough to be able to look at him and quietly say “I’m so sorry again about deleting my email account. I’m so, so sorry, Simon.”</p><p>For a second he looks confused before realization hits him. “That Mailor Daemon thing.” He looks a little embarrassed and bashful. “I should have thought to delete it before giving my computer to you.” But then he looks at me with that care and concern he always has. And a clear determination about whatever he’s about to say next.</p><p>“Bram, you don’t need to apologize. We already talked about this and we’re totally good-”</p><p>“I know, I just… it was just such a stupid thing to do. I’m embarrassed. And, God Simon. I <em>hate</em> to think what you must have thought when your email bounced back.”</p><p>When Simon doesn’t immediately respond again, it’s all the confirmation I needed that he indeed thought the worst. I mean, <em>of course</em> he did. He thought the only thing anyone would think in that circumstance. That I had rejected him.</p><p>And I scrunch my face because the shame is almost too much to bear.</p><p>“Hey, that doesn’t matter. And for the record, I totally get it. There was so much going on at that time. And honestly, if our situation were reversed, I don’t know what I would have done.” He tries to reassure me.</p><p>“I do. You’d have reached out and been generous and totally kind and amazing.”</p><p>He smiles bashfully and looks down for a second. “Your faith in me is touching. And undeserved.” He tries to joke. But I can’t let him lighten the mood yet. I have more to come clean about, and I know it.</p><p>“I owe you a second apology too. I clicked on the email because I wanted to see what you tried to send. I know I shouldn’t have and I’m really sorry. I violated your privacy…..But in it, you were reaching out. And it never got to me because I’m an idiot. And a coward.”</p><p>“Okay, first of all: <em>watch it</em>...That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about!” He jokes. “Seriously, Bram. You are NOT a coward. You’re one of the bravest people I know. Second of all, I’m not really sure what you did counts as an invasion of privacy. You clicked on an email that I had tried to send ….<em>to you</em>. I think that’s allowed. Besides, Bram. I trust you fully. You have unfettered access to my computer right now. You could have easily logged into my regular gmail account, or read through my texts, or looked at photos, or worse, looked at my search history-” He jokes.</p><p>“-Aaaah!” Nora makes a disgusted sound from across the island and then goes back to her mixing.</p><p>“So stop beating yourself up, I mean, I think things turned out pretty good.” And he ever so slightly tightens his hold on me.</p><p>“I guess I’m just lucky you were brave enough for the both of us.”</p><p>“I wasn’t that brave, really. I just knew you were worth fighting for.”</p><p>God, how does he always do that? Say such romantic things like it’s just so easy? And he makes it seem so natural and obvious and not forced. It’s a real gift and I don’t even know if he realizes how good he is at this.</p><p>“Nora” I call to her, to get her attention, surprising both of them, while not taking my eyes off of Simon. Simon looks confused but doesn’t interrupt me. </p><p>“I’m about to kiss your brother in front of you.” I declare. “But only for a second, I promise. That okay with you?”</p><p>Nora feigns disgust as she says, “Ugh, fine, but make it quick!” But I know she’s actually okay with it and actually really likes that Simon and I are together.</p><p>Simon looks amused at my warning Nora of my intentions as he smiles adorably at me. I don’t hesitate as I immediately press my lips into his and wrap my arm back around his shoulders.</p><p>I had every intention of making that kiss chaste. For Nora’s sake. But Simon apparently doesn’t care nearly as much because he kicks up the intensity almost instantly and suddenly he’s holding me so tight that it’s lighting a fire in me and my hand finds its way into his hair.</p><p>My God, if it’s like this in his kitchen with his sister around, I don’t think it’s going to be long before Simon and I <em>are</em> having that talk about … <em>next steps</em>.</p><p>“Ah-HEM!” Nora coughs loudly at us. I break the kiss immediately and flash her a bashful apologetic smile.</p><p>I look back at Simon who looks just as flustered as I feel. I’m happy about that, and weirdly proud.</p><p>I walk back around and take a seat in front of the laptop. Simon doesn’t return to the cutting board, but instead follows me back to the computer.</p><p>“Here…” He says and reaches around to highlight that top email. He then deletes it and looks at me. “Ancient history.” And he smiles at me, gives my arm a light touch, then heads back to the cutting board to keep chopping vegetables for Nora.</p><p>I’m touched by that gesture. So small yet so powerful.</p><p>I take my eyes off Simon and turn back to his inbox again. I notice the top email is now my last email to him. The fearful email where I tell him I ‘can’t do it anymore’ and that I’m ‘so sorry’.</p><p>I highlight it and consider asking Simon if I can delete that one too, but I ultimately decide against it.</p><p>Really, I don’t want to rewrite our story. Because I <em>did</em> write that email. And I did delete my account. And while I’m not proud of it, at all, it did have a part to play in  prompting Simon to be brave as hell and write that Creeksecrets post where he shone so bright that I fell for him all over again. Our story is pretty epic and I should accept all parts of it, good and bad because so far, it’s working out better than I ever could have imagined.</p><p>So I say nothing and instead head back to the first email and start forwarding them to myself. The whole process only takes about ten minutes and then I’m putting the computer away to keep Nora and Simon company while they act like adorable siblings together. Siblings who bicker but clearly actually really like each other a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Later that night, I’m home and lying in bed, still wide awake and I can’t seem to stop thinking about our emails.</p><p>I’m glad that Simon was so chill about my mini-freakout. Especially since he had every right to be annoyed at having to comfort me <em>again</em> for something bad that I had done. But he was great about it. He’s so positive and generous that I just want to return the favour to him somehow.</p><p>Then a brilliant idea strikes me.</p><p>I immediately get up and grab my own laptop from my desk and bring it back into bed with me. I open up my new email account and see the dozens of emails I sent to myself this afternoon. But I’m here to fix Simon’s inbox, not my own, so I open up a new email and start drafting.</p><p> </p><p>From: bluegreen118@gmail.com</p><p>To: frommywindow1@gmail.com</p><p>Date: February 7, 2018 at 11:21pm</p><p>Subject: A better email to sit in the top of your inbox</p><p>
  <em>Hey Handsome, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I got home and I couldn’t get the thought of that ‘failed to deliver’ email out of my head. I know you deleted it and everything and were so sweet and kind about it. But I still hate that it was the last email ever received into your account. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So here I present one more for you. Just to bookend things and leave a better email as the top one sitting in this inbox: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Simon, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Posting on Creeksecrets was the best thing I ever did, because you emailed me, and your emails changed my life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m so happy to know you. I’m so happy to be with you. And I’m SO happy you want to be with me too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This email isn’t the end of anything, it’s just a bookmark in between different chapters of our story. Between our emailing and this new chapter that’s already underway and is proving to be pretty ‘freaking’ amazing. </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I, for one, can’t wait to keep going.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>See you tomorrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bram.</em>
</p><p>Less than five minutes after I hit send, my phone pings with a text.</p><p>
  <em>     Simon: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>     Got your email. You might actually be the best human on the planet.</em>
</p><p>Not for the first time, I think about telling him I love him. But it’s only been two weeks since the Ferris Wheel. It seems too early and I don’t want to freak him out. I know he said ‘love’ in his Creeksecrets post but that’s different than saying it to each other in person.</p><p>Not a minute after his first text, another one comes through:</p><p>
  <em>     Simon: </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>     Ps. I can’t wait either. </em>
</p><p>Yup. I definitely love him. I’ll tell him soon. Just not right now. Not over text.</p><p>Instead, I reply with a heart emoji and wish him goodnight. Enough for now.</p>
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